All in all ...

Tuesday 30th Jan

The long awaited day has finally arrived..
yet!! Burst out by my BEST fren like one tinny winny step before the REAL thing!
-_-


bUT, its ok =)

The meal at that moon japanese restaurant is ***

wow.
haha the ambience is splendid, the food is n.ic.e
as in really nice
complemented with the special special dessert. my fav=] well, one out of the three =P

Hadnt had a stroll in town leisurely for like
dono since when.
and finally, a ***$%^$%*%& cab down to that FIVE STAR worth place
basically that taxi driver expects his customers to know all the MAIN streets of the places they want to get to, and EXPLAIN the map in great details for his benefit of HIS JOB.
and im sorry that werent able to tell him the exact exact place to turn to get to my destination.

right, im taking a cab.

THANKS GOD, there were SOME efforts taken by THAT taxi driver to be polite and aware that he's actually driving his customer, to somewhere OBVIOUSLY they know not how to get to themselves.

HOWEVER, this SMALL incident is so not gonna spoil the b-e-a-utiful day ahead.
PICKLE KING is SO SO SO nice.. simple yet impactful, definitely.

This 2hr play is roughly about one of the many chemical-affected Indians in Australia, getting by a living through maintaining a small hotel. And the tragedy in India can be clearly seen purely in this small hotel where most of the very few staffs[porter, cook, cleaner etc] there are actually highly educated back in their country. Yet,for survival sake, they had to throw all of their education and high positions they ought to have back in their country and start from basics in this hotel.
This is not very important though =P

the main story is about this lady,sashay, who is partially blinded due to the chemical and whom holds the belief that she brings death. she was once married off to a DOG, due to the superstitious people who took in her, and a FAT caucausian who posed himself as an indian and live off others through cheating. The fat caucasian took her hands as she was the only one who was able to dance him to sleep after his 21yrs of insomnia. THis insomnia is caused by his guilt, as he was the chemical factory owner who caused many children's death 21 yrs ago. He lied to sashay, upon knowing her background through sweettalking to her aunt, and con her into thinking that by being with him, the 'death' which she would bring upon those she love, will be sealed.

It was due to the Porter whom she realised she has fell in love with, that she was willing to marry that fat caucasian, to prevent causing him death.
The porter, the main comedian in the play, was also in love with her, and constantly talk her into believing that she carries NO death, and has to learn to open up her fears and conquer it.
Eventually, they both got together, conquering that stigma she has been holding on to all her life.

A few litery connotations are - the globe, which represents everyone else's fear and stigma in life. All of us has fears, for height, snakes, water , speech infront of a large group or wadsoever. We may think that we will NEVER ever get over that fear which is inborn. "i can never organise a outing for one million people" "i can never get across that gushing river through swimming" There are many firm beliefs which we hold in our daily life. This play tells us to open up these fears and conquer them bravely.
There were many gush of strong wind amongst the play. Wind represents the nature, which is uncontrollable and unpredictable.However it comes and goes absurdly throughout the play, coming to a sudden halt upon the presence of certain character. Just like death, extremely uncontrollable and making everyone vulnerable. However, the wind was the one which "saved" sashay from death, and it always stops when one solved a problem or settled something. Hence, it may symbolise trouble and the unpredictments experienced in the story.
The title being the pickle king, and not sashay or the porter[ who's name wasnt even widely used in the beginning of the play] shows that the focus of the play is about one's belief and not about the romance wadsoever. The pickle king,a name brought out by the fat caucasian himself, though caused many problems, he was the one who brought sashay to contemplate her true feelings within, and recognise what she exactly wants in life, forces her to overcome her fears which has been plaguing her for yrs.
Grande or the pianist takes the role of a connector who connects the audience and the actors. He leads the mood in the play, though portrayed ignorant like the audience about the plot. There's always bound to have one of such character in every play, if u notice. yup

The fake tall nose which every actor/actress puts on gives them a different identity. It will seem weird if they are acting just there themselves without any disguise. Thats just to put them in another person's role.

Wednesday 31st jan

Went to the Kranji War memoir with the literature students today. We talked about death, and all those who died in the war long ago. Reading those scriptures on the tombs not only touched our hearts, they seem to be telling us about our life too. "once a glory once a memory once a smile once a tear. Once a baby once a brother once a father once a soldier. All but once." There were tombs of newborns, few weeks old babies, few yrs old babies, youngsters around age... ppl in their forties.....

Cass talked to me about her bf's dead mother few yrs back. And all that he went thru at that point of time. The lost he felt, the lost we ourselves would have felt.. the thought itself of losing someone i love is just overwhelming and... heartwrecking.

hmm...

its not about u being busy, or having no reception that u werent able to reply me that im sad. i had a hectic day today, i know u too. i had 3 hrs straight of brain wrecking lect and tutorials in a straight line. Right after im done, i replied. Whenever im able to , i would. But u wouldnt even bother to take a look to check if i replied, despite how free u are. To me, first three months is totally slack and redundant, but i know ure working hard, i hope u are, to make a difference. But honestly, is it so bad till u cant even fork out a time to reply a msg.
THis is not the first, nor the second time, nor the third. I didnt want to show any anger wadsoever,comin to odac and talked to u the first thing.bUT as u explained more and more after induction discussion, i just got more disappointed. "no reception, didnt tot tt u would reply, forgot bout it"... is it?
im really very tired today, totally didnt felt lk listening or talking.

sigh

thatDAY...

wednesday 24th Jan
yup that very day.
brink of the end...
was waiting for Odac to start as usual, sitting outdoor odac room, watching the Odacguys playing soccer... wasn't very concerned with that deep breathes which has been engulfing me for like weeks. but my head slowly went into a critically-low-oxygen level, making me feeling the as bad as you can be when you just had 10 jugs of china-branded beer.
but the worst was yet to come, far from it.
My limps started going numb, numb-er and numb-est...
Siew came forth and knew totally NTH to help me.. she got real scare when i started weeping. haha...
i quickly took the USELESS medicine, which apparantly was totally use-LESS.
And my muscles started to contract,thats when u try SO hard to control ur movements but totally not able to.i totally freaked out though i laughed while crying at the same time which my friends around me thought was a even freakier thing to do at that point of time. i seriously didnt want to scare everyone there and the pale white, wiped-out expressions on my friend's faces were just intolerable. =P
My feeling at that point of time was really beyond description,the first time feeling that helpless and frightened, till i teared despite trying so hard not to. Because the more i cry[or laugh], the harder it gets for me to breathe. siew and alina held on to my deformed hands...telling me stuffs which i couldnt actually hear then.and seriously, things were not all then.
i REALLY got really scared when my legs and the sides of my waist started numbing altogether...losing control of ur body due to a lack of oxygen is really not a nice feeling at all.
Then HE carried me from Odac room,across the classrooms,up the four flights of stars and onto the cab.. towards the nearest CCK polyclinic. Why not to a hospital!?! u must be thinking... yea, that was wad i thought too. But my dear friend Siew was afriad that the nearest hospital will take a much longer time compared to the clinic. And there i am, being told that i had no problems actually. And that my breathing path could have been blocked due to my all-time illness, sinus. Which caused my hypervendilation. =]
a good and may not be that good news, no problems detected.

without all those people around me then, WYNER SIEW ALINA ... i could have died haha...a darn BIG warm hug to all of u alright! in fact MANY MANY more unknown people were around me then, looking at me frighteningly. All the j2 and J1 odacians, hus excos,hockey peeps!!! thanx to the auspicious venue i was then hur. haha
thx for being there =)

Friday 26th Jan
R.I.C.E
a 75km ride around Singapore! with odac peeps and a few other j1s. It was a new and exciting experience really. Especially considering the fact that i couldn't ride VERY well at all, and had to take care of the J1s along the road with some occasional road-bastards zooming past us. =] thx alot hur. just DOn understand why some of them just couldnt open their tinnie winnie eyes and SEE that there are like 60 young and adorable 'turtles' like us with our trembling butts along the road trying to wheeze our way thru to the final destination-EAST COAST. thx to the pe teachers and j2 seniors, leading the group and making it a successful ride afterall =]
everyone's butt must have been REALLY bruised badly. HALO!! imagine yourself on a bike for 9 hours! that's not quite fun man. haha.
but along the road, under the drizzling sky, with drops of water splattering on your face and a HUGE gush of cold cold wind blowing through your ribs, that was a really nice ride. really... though my hands occasionally went numb and my heart almost at its freezing point.
loads of thoughts along the way...
you tried so hard to be always beside me all the while, fearing that something would happen to me. and i really really appreciate that ALOT =)xie xie ni.

back home and yeap, a big shut off.
odac is the only thing which brings me life whenever school life totally sufocate me to the brim. neverending lectures,tutorials and work..

so it will never end...

people often wonder what they really want in life,
i know

but can i?

hmm....